[ david swallows, pushes the anger back down so it doesn't have a chance to boil over. it's not gone, it's never gone, but it's somewhere manageable for now. up on a shelf where he can look away and pretend he's not as pissed off and miserable as he fucking is. ]
No point anyway, shit's gonna end up the same whether or not I start every other trial in a state or not.
[ but he tries not to think about that too much. tries not to think about the bone deep existential despair that comes when he remembers the void, when those fucking ghosts slip out and what that does to him. ]
[ a little funny though, to be the guy who seeks out creature comforts between trials when certain people would tell him there's no point to that either. ]
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No point anyway, shit's gonna end up the same whether or not I start every other trial in a state or not.
[ but he tries not to think about that too much. tries not to think about the bone deep existential despair that comes when he remembers the void, when those fucking ghosts slip out and what that does to him. ]
[ a little funny though, to be the guy who seeks out creature comforts between trials when certain people would tell him there's no point to that either. ]