[ the truth is: yes. it burns him. it burns him because people didn't used to do that, and anyone who did ended up in much worse positions than david has, and nobody would defend them or back them up. nobody argued with him, ever.
it makes him feel like he's not the man he's supposed to be.
it's an unpleasant piece of knowledge that's been curdling in his brain for a while, and he considers tearing david's arms off for making him realize it again. his grip tightens even more, but he just barely manages to get a grip on himself. ]
All I see when you pull that shit is someone tryin' to get out of this place as fast as they can.
[ he shoves himself up to sit back, freeing david's arms, but doesn't get off him just yet. ]
[ this is... confusing. david winces again, lets out a quiet noise at the way evan's grip tightens on his wrists again, and then he... sits up? it confuses the hell out of david enough he doesn't even react at first, barely even registers what evan said. ]
[ david doesn't move other than pulling his arms back to himself, rubbing his wrist with one hand, looking up at evan first in open confusion, and then he rolls his eyes. of course evan would think that. ]
'Cause I'm not here tryin' to stroke your ego by never talking back?
Be a lot less dead a lot more often if you kept your mouth shut.
[ he should be breaking david in half for this. turning his face in a bloody pulp. but there's a headache coming on, probably from all the punches, and just talking to david can be exhausting. so backing off seems like a better option.
maybe that'll be true if he keeps repeating it to himself. ]
You, the saboteur, that shit with the cap - never know when to back the fuck off.
[ speaking of never knowing when to back off. he knows he's in dangerous territory but if david ever let that stop him, who would he be? not himself. ]
Be less pissed all the time if you learned to keep your ego in check.
[ you've never met anybody like me before. david seems thoroughly unbothered by the statement-- truthfully, part of it is the fact that part of him already knows how this goes. he's gonna burn out long before the others, it seems obvious when he's racking up a death count in trials double what some of the others who've been here just as long have. ]
[ there's no way to explain this shit is what helps keep him going, keeps him from losing himself to this place, the endless cycle of helplessness and death. not without sounding like more of a lunatic than he probably does anyway. ]
[ he realises after a second that he still has his legs wrapped around evan, lets them fall and plants his feet to push himself back a little, keep a little distance. he doesn't understand why this is such a sticking point for evan, would think he only brought it up because it pisses david off, except for the fact that he seems really intent on making him believe it. ]
Still don't understand the fuck it matters to you so much for.
[ the first comment makes him sneer. the second he doesn't respond to right away.
why does it matter? why does he care at all? why bother bringing it up when the whole point is to kill him? david's entire existence here is to suffer and die. if he's trying to hasten that, it shouldn't matter. it shouldn't be out of the ordinary, or something for evan to give more than a moment's thought to.
why does he even care?
the thought sparks, starts to travel down old pathways in his brain. starts to open up old doors and make old thoughts turn into new ones. uncomfortable ones. ones that the entity didn't just shut away - he shut a lot of those doors, too. and so did other people.
evan stares at david, still glaring, but with an uneasy edge to it now. ]
It doesn't. Just don't like seeing idiots run headfirst into walls.
[ david scoffs, rolls his eyes. it clearly matters to him, david just can't figure out why. does he wanna be the one to finish him off out here or something? ]
Should be glad. Means you'll be shot of me that much faster.
[ evan still can't find the right response, and david's irritating him - again, or maybe more than usual - so he only snorts and plants a hand flat on david's chest to push himself up to standing.
he should punch him again and storm off, but that feels like losing when he thinks about it (and he really doesn't like thinking about it). he doesn't offer to help david up. instead, he looks around for wherever the hell his mask went. ]
It'll replace you. Always does. Find some new idiot that runs headfirst into walls.
[ david grunts at the weight on his chest, on top of all the aches and pains now too, and follows evan up after a moment's thought. ]
Wouldn't be me though.
[ and david likes to think he's uniquely infuriating. ]
[ not that that solves... anything. he stands, a frown on his face. is this just it? evan fucking deflates like an old balloon and they just don't finish this fight or get to the bottom of this horrible little chat? ]
The fuck is this, Chuck? What're we doing here?
[ david spreads his arms, gestures around like there's something physical he can point to to illustrate his confusion and frustration. he's just so fed up and tired of this all, evan is so exhausting to deal with sometimes and yet, for some reason, david hasn't stopped. ]
[ evan glances back at him once as he looks for the mask, but doesn't respond right away. he finds it scattered in the dying grass and dead leaves and picks it up. there's dirt on it, and leaf litter, and where that stirs a little anger in him it doesn't make him violent just yet.
he wipes some of it off with a thumb, and gives david as flat a look as he can manage. ]
You got lost.
[ which isn't what david means, he knows. why are both of them still alive? where did the anger go? it's getting harder to deal with. putting up with david is making parts of his brain come alive again after a long, long dormancy, and he definitely doesn't like it.
the entity hasn't been too happy about it, either, but at least it's staying out of this shit for now. ]
[ well that gets him a flat look fired back in return. this might rank for the most confusing interaction he's had with evan to date, and there have been some doozies. ]
So we just knock eachother around a bit and leave?
[ he doesn't try to mask the confusion, or the fact that he's still kind of raring to go. he's not about to start anything though, because clearly evan isn't feeling it anymore, he'd just be reacting out of necessity if david threw a punch. ]
[ so david's noticed too. that shouldn't be a surprise, but it irritates him, right down to the core.
evan pulls the mask back on, knowing that creates more distance than the distance does, and watches david, waiting for any attack, any violence, any excuse or justification to kill him other than because that's what he's supposed to do. ]
You'd know?
[ all the roaring in his head says david wouldn't know, he's just some maggot, some piss-poor excuse for a person trying to get in evan's way. but there's other arguments there, too, which is why he's not attacking. ]
[ there's a brief wrinkle of distaste in his expression when the mask goes back on, but that's it. though part of him does think evan better not start another fight now, because he doesn't want to fight him to get it off again. ]
How many times have you told me nobody should be walkin' away from a fight with you, hm?
[ he still remembers the sudden, stark realisation that there's no winning with evan that lets both parties live. the deep nausea, the shaking hands, the understanding that beating evan meant killing him. that he had to be ready and willing to kill or he'd never survive. ]
[ ... except one time, in the coal tower. funny that he'd basically pinned david and had a go at him that time too, but that struck him as an outlier. strange and unusual for both of them. ]
[ evan looks at him in silence, knowing he's right, knowing it would be best for both of them if he charged right now. he can feel the urge to kill seething in his blood. he wants david to shut up. he wants him dead. the anger is still there, even after the cold crept in.
but he doesn't act. he just watches him, grim and glad for the mask, and wonders why it is the entity never pulls him for a trial when he needs it. ]
Yeah, well.
[ nobody should be walking away. from this in particular, both of them should be half-dead or full-dead on the ground. they shouldn't be standing. he shouldn't be ready to walk away.
evan turns and looks at the forest, at the grass beyond where the ironworks sits and rots. he's beaten people to death out here, and not just in the fog. the corpses probably didn't come with. their ghosts can't chase either one of them now.
after a few long seconds, he starts to walk away. ]
[ he should just take the... whatever this is. not a win. but he's alive, that's something. but this is wrong, and david doesn't know why that bothers him, but it does. concern churning in his gut and he doesn't like that either. ]
[ david follows after him, almost reaches out to grab his arm but stops himself in the interest of evan not just wheeling around and punching him in the face. ]
[ evan pauses just long enough to know he shouldn't when david follows him.
maybe it's the fact that this was out of nowhere for both of them. maybe it's just time and the entity weighing down on him. maybe he's just going insane (more insane, probably). or maybe he's getting soft. unable to deal with the dangerous truths that david might not realize he's laying out at evan's feet.
all things he doesn't want to deal with, and can if he just walks away. ]
Just take this and get out.
[ you win, he thinks dully, but maybe it won't be the same as before. maybe david'll brag and maybe he won't. evan heads into the trees, where he knows where all the traps are that he needs to avoid and david ... probably doesn't, but can probably find his way through. he's done it before. ]
[ david doesn't know why he's so insistent, why he follows evan all this way. something bothers him and it's not just the fact that he's doing this. the whole situation just feels wrong. ]
[ he doesn't speak, slows down as he follows into the trees — not for any special reason, david just needs to concentrate on where he's going so he doesn't lose a foot — but it'll be obvious to evan regardless. david's way too stubborn to let this lie. ]
[ he knows david's following him, as well as he knows whenever there's trespassers on his property. it's infuriating, and frustrating, and it makes something in the back of his skull itch. not just from the call to violence, either.
but as far as he's concerned, this is Done, so he doesn't turn around and try to run him off or fight him again. he just keeps heading into the forest, hoping he can will the fog to hide him or get pulled to a trial. none of his doors have locks anymore; david can follow him anywhere. short of blocking the door this isn't going to end.
and he wonders: why the hell won't david just take the win he's always looking for? ]
[ david keeps following, quietly concentrating save for a hissed curse when his boot skims the edge of a trap, but he manages not to step in it. it's easier to focus on following evan than wondering why he feels compelled to do it. it just bothers him and that's not weird, evan's the one behaving strangely. ]
[ unless evan eventually gets fed up and tries to run david off, he'll follow him all the way until he stops somewhere. anywhere. keeps a healthy distance, but makes no attempt to act like there's any other possible reason for him to be here. honestly david doesn't see the point, evan would know better. ]
What's got into you?
[ he's not concerned, just confused. they're very similar expressions and intonations is all. ]
[ evan stops when they get to the ironworks, the huge, looming monstrosity that used to always be lit, always be active. the iron is long since cold, coating the inside of the massive vat so permanently it's become part of the metal. the windows are broken and the pipes would shatter if they got hot again. it's all a reminder of what he used to have, whether that's a good thing or a bad thing at this point.
he wants to get rid of david somehow, but he can't be stealthy when he's being followed. trying to kill him would restart the fight he just ended. he doesn't sigh, and he doesn't snarl, and he doesn't look back when he speaks. ]
If there was somethin', why would you care?
[ there's an edge of curiosity there. why would he care? is he just asking to carry it back to the campfire, and then to get overheard by certain ghosts? ]
[ david stops maybe a foot behind him, frozen by the question. ]
I dunno.
[ why does he care. why would it matter if there was something up with evan? it tugs at something in him, familiar with the way he feels toward the other survivors sometimes, but that's... that's wrong. evan's not a survivor, he's not his friend. why does this matter at all? ]
[ it's an excuse, half-assed, and evan can tell. he'd think about the fact that every word he's spoken so far has also been an excuse, but that would be coming dangerously close to self-awareness when he's in this kind of mood. ]
Does anything around here?
[ he's not sure he wants to know why david thinks him backing off 'doesn't feel right' in a way that isn't gloating. would he chase david down in this kind of situation? no. probably not -
the probably sinks in, and he only doesn't storm further into the ironworks out of sheer frustrated disbelief at himself. ]
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it makes him feel like he's not the man he's supposed to be.
it's an unpleasant piece of knowledge that's been curdling in his brain for a while, and he considers tearing david's arms off for making him realize it again. his grip tightens even more, but he just barely manages to get a grip on himself. ]
All I see when you pull that shit is someone tryin' to get out of this place as fast as they can.
[ he shoves himself up to sit back, freeing david's arms, but doesn't get off him just yet. ]
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[ david doesn't move other than pulling his arms back to himself, rubbing his wrist with one hand, looking up at evan first in open confusion, and then he rolls his eyes. of course evan would think that. ]
'Cause I'm not here tryin' to stroke your ego by never talking back?
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[ he should be breaking david in half for this. turning his face in a bloody pulp. but there's a headache coming on, probably from all the punches, and just talking to david can be exhausting. so backing off seems like a better option.
maybe that'll be true if he keeps repeating it to himself. ]
You, the saboteur, that shit with the cap - never know when to back the fuck off.
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[ speaking of never knowing when to back off. he knows he's in dangerous territory but if david ever let that stop him, who would he be? not himself. ]
Be less pissed all the time if you learned to keep your ego in check.
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No you wouldn't. I ain't your only problem here. Just one of the big ones.
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[ crazy how huge egos and anger issues are common themes out here. ]
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I saw a lot of people act like you back before. Every one of 'em ended up dead. 'S what makes me think you're aiming for the same thing.
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[ you've never met anybody like me before. david seems thoroughly unbothered by the statement-- truthfully, part of it is the fact that part of him already knows how this goes. he's gonna burn out long before the others, it seems obvious when he's racking up a death count in trials double what some of the others who've been here just as long have. ]
[ there's no way to explain this shit is what helps keep him going, keeps him from losing himself to this place, the endless cycle of helplessness and death. not without sounding like more of a lunatic than he probably does anyway. ]
[ he realises after a second that he still has his legs wrapped around evan, lets them fall and plants his feet to push himself back a little, keep a little distance. he doesn't understand why this is such a sticking point for evan, would think he only brought it up because it pisses david off, except for the fact that he seems really intent on making him believe it. ]
Still don't understand the fuck it matters to you so much for.
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why does it matter? why does he care at all? why bother bringing it up when the whole point is to kill him? david's entire existence here is to suffer and die. if he's trying to hasten that, it shouldn't matter. it shouldn't be out of the ordinary, or something for evan to give more than a moment's thought to.
why does he even care?
the thought sparks, starts to travel down old pathways in his brain. starts to open up old doors and make old thoughts turn into new ones. uncomfortable ones. ones that the entity didn't just shut away - he shut a lot of those doors, too. and so did other people.
evan stares at david, still glaring, but with an uneasy edge to it now. ]
It doesn't. Just don't like seeing idiots run headfirst into walls.
[ but even he knows that's a weak answer. ]
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[ david scoffs, rolls his eyes. it clearly matters to him, david just can't figure out why. does he wanna be the one to finish him off out here or something? ]
Should be glad. Means you'll be shot of me that much faster.
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he should punch him again and storm off, but that feels like losing when he thinks about it (and he really doesn't like thinking about it). he doesn't offer to help david up. instead, he looks around for wherever the hell his mask went. ]
It'll replace you. Always does. Find some new idiot that runs headfirst into walls.
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Wouldn't be me though.
[ and david likes to think he's uniquely infuriating. ]
[ not that that solves... anything. he stands, a frown on his face. is this just it? evan fucking deflates like an old balloon and they just don't finish this fight or get to the bottom of this horrible little chat? ]
The fuck is this, Chuck? What're we doing here?
[ david spreads his arms, gestures around like there's something physical he can point to to illustrate his confusion and frustration. he's just so fed up and tired of this all, evan is so exhausting to deal with sometimes and yet, for some reason, david hasn't stopped. ]
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he wipes some of it off with a thumb, and gives david as flat a look as he can manage. ]
You got lost.
[ which isn't what david means, he knows. why are both of them still alive? where did the anger go? it's getting harder to deal with. putting up with david is making parts of his brain come alive again after a long, long dormancy, and he definitely doesn't like it.
the entity hasn't been too happy about it, either, but at least it's staying out of this shit for now. ]
You want me to finish the job?
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So we just knock eachother around a bit and leave?
[ he doesn't try to mask the confusion, or the fact that he's still kind of raring to go. he's not about to start anything though, because clearly evan isn't feeling it anymore, he'd just be reacting out of necessity if david threw a punch. ]
[ still-- ] S'not like you.
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evan pulls the mask back on, knowing that creates more distance than the distance does, and watches david, waiting for any attack, any violence, any excuse or justification to kill him other than because that's what he's supposed to do. ]
You'd know?
[ all the roaring in his head says david wouldn't know, he's just some maggot, some piss-poor excuse for a person trying to get in evan's way. but there's other arguments there, too, which is why he's not attacking. ]
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How many times have you told me nobody should be walkin' away from a fight with you, hm?
[ he still remembers the sudden, stark realisation that there's no winning with evan that lets both parties live. the deep nausea, the shaking hands, the understanding that beating evan meant killing him. that he had to be ready and willing to kill or he'd never survive. ]
[ ... except one time, in the coal tower. funny that he'd basically pinned david and had a go at him that time too, but that struck him as an outlier. strange and unusual for both of them. ]
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but he doesn't act. he just watches him, grim and glad for the mask, and wonders why it is the entity never pulls him for a trial when he needs it. ]
Yeah, well.
[ nobody should be walking away. from this in particular, both of them should be half-dead or full-dead on the ground. they shouldn't be standing. he shouldn't be ready to walk away.
evan turns and looks at the forest, at the grass beyond where the ironworks sits and rots. he's beaten people to death out here, and not just in the fog. the corpses probably didn't come with. their ghosts can't chase either one of them now.
after a few long seconds, he starts to walk away. ]
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[ what? ]
[ he should just take the... whatever this is. not a win. but he's alive, that's something. but this is wrong, and david doesn't know why that bothers him, but it does. concern churning in his gut and he doesn't like that either. ]
[ david follows after him, almost reaches out to grab his arm but stops himself in the interest of evan not just wheeling around and punching him in the face. ]
The fuck's going on with you?
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maybe it's the fact that this was out of nowhere for both of them. maybe it's just time and the entity weighing down on him. maybe he's just going insane (more insane, probably). or maybe he's getting soft. unable to deal with the dangerous truths that david might not realize he's laying out at evan's feet.
all things he doesn't want to deal with, and can if he just walks away. ]
Just take this and get out.
[ you win, he thinks dully, but maybe it won't be the same as before. maybe david'll brag and maybe he won't. evan heads into the trees, where he knows where all the traps are that he needs to avoid and david ... probably doesn't, but can probably find his way through. he's done it before. ]
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[ he doesn't speak, slows down as he follows into the trees — not for any special reason, david just needs to concentrate on where he's going so he doesn't lose a foot — but it'll be obvious to evan regardless. david's way too stubborn to let this lie. ]
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but as far as he's concerned, this is Done, so he doesn't turn around and try to run him off or fight him again. he just keeps heading into the forest, hoping he can will the fog to hide him or get pulled to a trial. none of his doors have locks anymore; david can follow him anywhere. short of blocking the door this isn't going to end.
and he wonders: why the hell won't david just take the win he's always looking for? ]
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[ unless evan eventually gets fed up and tries to run david off, he'll follow him all the way until he stops somewhere. anywhere. keeps a healthy distance, but makes no attempt to act like there's any other possible reason for him to be here. honestly david doesn't see the point, evan would know better. ]
What's got into you?
[ he's not concerned, just confused. they're very similar expressions and intonations is all. ]
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he wants to get rid of david somehow, but he can't be stealthy when he's being followed. trying to kill him would restart the fight he just ended. he doesn't sigh, and he doesn't snarl, and he doesn't look back when he speaks. ]
If there was somethin', why would you care?
[ there's an edge of curiosity there. why would he care? is he just asking to carry it back to the campfire, and then to get overheard by certain ghosts? ]
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[ david stops maybe a foot behind him, frozen by the question. ]
I dunno.
[ why does he care. why would it matter if there was something up with evan? it tugs at something in him, familiar with the way he feels toward the other survivors sometimes, but that's... that's wrong. evan's not a survivor, he's not his friend. why does this matter at all? ]
[ he sighs. ]
Just doesn't feel right.
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Does anything around here?
[ he's not sure he wants to know why david thinks him backing off 'doesn't feel right' in a way that isn't gloating. would he chase david down in this kind of situation? no. probably not -
the probably sinks in, and he only doesn't storm further into the ironworks out of sheer frustrated disbelief at himself. ]
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